Successfully Co-Parenting – Fact or Fiction?

Parenting in the easiest of circumstances is a difficult task. When you throw divorce into the mix, parenting shifts from day-to-day difficulties to being a myriad of problematic navigations for you and your co-parent.

So, is successfully co-parenting fact or fiction? What does successful co-parenting look like? As expected no co-parenting arrangement or methods are the same. However, many successful co-parents share similarities in how they work towards an amicable co-parenting partnership, which at the forefront, has their children’s best interest in mind.

Successful co-parents:

Don’t bad-mouth their ex-partners

“It’s crucial to remember that your children are keenly aware that they are the product of both mum and dad. So hearing bad things about the other parent is actually telling the child that one-half of them is ‘bad.’ It doesn’t take much to realise how hurtful – and damaging – that is to a child.”[1]

Work hard to keep things civil

Following from the above point, successful co-parents keep their children’s feelings at the forefront of everything they do. Obviously, co-parents aren’t always going to agree, however making an effort to diffuse tensions is a good place to start.

Agree on consistent rules for each household

It’s no secret that children need routine and structure to feel safe and secure, as well as flourish in their growth. It’s paramount that each parents’ household more or less holds the same rules in regards to bedtime, watching TV, homework, household chores and the like. “Running a tight ship creates a sense of security and predictability for children. So no matter where your child is, he or she knows that certain rules will be enforced.”[2]

Commit to communicate

“Communication is probably the most important part of a successful co-parenting relationship. If you and your co-parent are able to communicate efficiently and effectively there will be less opportunity for conflicts to arise. Communication can help to make a confusing and difficult situation much more clear and easy-to-understand.”[3]

Related Article: How To Communicate Better With Your Co-Parent

Maintain some pre-divorce traditions

“Family traditions counter alienation and confusion. They help us define who we are; they provide something steady, reliable and safe in a confusing world.”[4]

Note: This is general information advice only and does not constitute specific legal advice. If you would like further information in relation to this matter or other legal matters, please contact us on 03 9620 0088 or email info@resolveconflict.com.au

[1] Brown J, 2018, ‘7 Traits All Successful Co-Parenting Arrangements Share’, Fatherly, 1 February, viewed 18 July 2018, https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/traits-successful-co-parenting-arrangements-share/

[2] Serani, D 2012, ‘The Do’s and Don’ts of Co-Parenting Well’, Psychology Today, 28 March, viewed 18 July 2018, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/two-takes-depression/201203/the-dos-and-donts-co-parenting-well

[3] ‘Tips for Successful Co-Parenting’, Our Family Wizard, viewed 18 July 2018, https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/tips-for-successful-co-parenting

[4] Hayes S, ‘6 Guiding Principles for A Successful Co-Parenting Partnership’, Motherly, viewed 18 July 2018, https://www.mother.ly/parenting/divorce-co-parenting-love