At Resolve Conflict Family Lawyers and Mediators our focus is always on the children and finding divorce solutions that keep their welfare front and centre.

Coping with parenting when your children are split between two households and two parents, and in some cases, partners and grandparents, is difficult.  You need patience and a good dollop of kindness and understanding to manage your children.  You also need to have a commitment to consistency between parents.  Setting boundaries and keeping disciplinary measures in place will make life easier for everyone all round, including the children.

Here are some tips that will help you along the way:

  • Try to keep the same rules in place that were followed before the separation. If your kids weren’t allowed to watch television after 6pm don’t suddenly decide that it is OK for them to do that. When kids are feeling like their world is changing, they need to have some sameness in their daily routine.  Maintaining household rules and standards can give them a sense of stability.

 

  •  If you have a less than cordial relationship with your ex try to enlist the help of a 3rd party to discuss discipline for the children.  To have consistency across both homes will be a great help to you both, no matter how hard that is to achieve.

 

  •  No matter how hard it is, for your children’s sake, don’t reverse each other’s decisions.  It will only confuse your children.   And don’t say yes when you had agreed to say no.

 

  •  Most of all – don’t discuss your personal views of the other parent with your child and never try to turn your children against the other parent. Remember, this person is still your child’s father or mother and they deserve the right to have their relationship with them untarnished by your views.  In years to come they will be able to make up their own mind, but for now, hold your tongue. No matter how hurt or angry you are, keep your opinions to yourself and spend some time venting with a close friend, not your children.

 

  •  Living between two houses can be tough.  Try to achieve a routine that kids can feel comfortable with which will help make them feel secure, and help them manage the division of clothes and other personal items at home and school so they never have the added stress of being without something as it’s at ‘the other parents house’.

It can be a difficult and awkward time transitioning to a two-parent lifestyle but a good result can be achieved. Above all keep talking with your children about how they are feeling and what they are experiencing.

For more information on how you can separate and divorce with or without court please contact our office  – 9620 0088

 

Holiday Survival Tips For Adults With Divorced Parents

by resconflict on December 11, 2018

Holiday Survival Tips For Adults With Divorced Parents - Resolve Conflict Family LawyersAs the saying goes “you never stop being a parent” which, equally means “you never stop being a child”! This is never more apparent, for many adult children of divorce, than during the holiday season. A festive nightmare, where managing complicated relationships, expectations and logistics now comes down to the adult child and no longer the divorced parents.

Here’s our survival tips on how you, as an adult child of divorce, can navigate through this holiday season:

You can’t please everyone!

Family obligations are rife during the Christmas holidays, and if you’re an adult child of divorce your obligations have at a minimum doubled. If you also have to consider your partners side of the family, then your well-deserved holidays have just become jam packed with activities everyone else wants you to do. Realistically you probably can’t do everything, which means having to politely say no and look at having year-on-year-off family time.

Be the host

Why not host your family this year? This could create a new way of doing things and potentially keep everyone happy. Planning and preparing to host might just be the distraction you need!

Acknowledge hurt feelings

There may be no way around hurt feelings. Unfortunately the holidays don’t miraculously fix or repair emotions like sadness, anger and bitterness; rather they can intensify them. These feelings are valid and can be felt by everyone in the family, a good rule of thumb is to be honest with yourself and your family and acknowledge these feelings where possible.

Related Article: Meaningful ways to help a loved one through divorce

Learn to communicate

Effective communication is a powerful tool that too many of us find hard to use. Sometimes having difficult/effective conversation with loved ones is the best option. If you are able to first validating others’ feelings, however still holding firm to what we can or can no do, it can assist greatly in effective communication.

You’re not alone

Remember virtually every single family – those with divorced parents and those with married parents – are dealing with some level of challenging family dynamics during the holidays!

 

Note: This is general information advice only and does not constitute specific legal advice. If you would like further information in relation to this matter or other legal matters, please contact us on 03 9620 0088 or email info@resolveconflict.com.au

 

Handling Holidays As A Divorced Parent

by resconflict on December 4, 2018

Handling Holidays As A Divorced Parent - Resolve Conflict Family LawyersAs the busy Christmas holidays draw closer, the strain of managing the hectic holiday family demands and schedules on top of a newly separated family can be extremely stressful for both parents and children.

On top of this, separated parents may notice that this time of year is particularly confusing, difficult and emotional for  their children, as the family unit and once normal traditions are rearranged or abandoned.

To make things as stress-free as possible, here are 5 tips on how to keep the holiday cheer alive for you and your children:

1. Begin planning well in advance

As the saying goes “fail to plan, plan to fail”. The earlier you and your co-parent can work out exactly what each one and the children expect out of the holidays the better. This will give you both time to work out the logistics and confirm plans with your extended families.

Related Article: How To Communicate Better With Your Co-Parent

2. Be Flexible

Successful co-parenting requires a certain amount of leniency, compromise and common sense. Negotiating and swapping your time with the children to fit in with family visiting form interstate or other special events, is likely to be in the best interest of your children; find ways for everyone to “win”.

3. Focus on your time with your children

Make the most of your time with your children, to create new traditions, rather than focusing on the time your aren’t with them.

4. Be respectful

Keep your children’s best interest top of mind and recognise that your children have the right to spend time with both parents and their extended families.

5. Create new traditions

Newly separated families have a great opportunity to create new and meaningful traditions with their children. Engage your children to contribute to creating new traditions that are meaningful to them.

The holiday season is often a stressful time for most families, however if you and your co-parent are able to put the children first, whilst rebuilding new traditions and a sense of family, you can make this holiday and future holiday season stress-free and fun for all.

 

Note: This is general information advice only and does not constitute specific legal advice. If you would like further information in relation to this matter or other legal matters, please contact us on 03 9620 0088 or email info@resolveconflict.com.au

Post Separation Assets: Why a quick property settlement is crucial

November 27, 2018

Once you and your partner have separated it’s a good idea to seek a property settlement sooner rather than later. Why? Sometimes surprising to clients, the law regards asset accumulated after separation as relevant to the net assets of each party at the date of settlement or trial. This means if you win the lottery, […]

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Family Law Myths – Busted! (Part 2)

November 21, 2018

Last week we busted the top 5 Family Law myths that clients often think are true. Continuing on, here are the next 5 Family Law myths anyone going through a divorce or separation should be aware of. “The 2 year rule applies in Australia” This mistaken myth, claims that if you have been together for […]

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Family Law Myths – Busted! (Part 1)

November 14, 2018

Like every family, every family law proceeding is unique. Hence, what you have been told by friends, family and colleagues may be misleading; as their situation was or is most likely different to your own. On top of this, there are a number of family law myths that can complicate peoples understanding of fact and […]

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Travelling Overseas With Your Children After Divorce – What you need to know

November 6, 2018

With the summer holidays fast approaching it is a opportune time for separated and divorced parents to take note and double-check a few things before making any overseas holiday plans. Written Consent As the old adage goes “treat others as you would want to be treated”, this ‘Golden Rule’ is particularly apt for separated and […]

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Child Support – An Essential Guide

October 31, 2018

What is Child Support? Child support is the ongoing legal responsibility of separated parents to provide an appropriate level of financial support for their children to ensure that the child’s needs are met. The Child Support Scheme is governed by the Child Support Agency (CSA) and the Child Support (Assessment) Act, which aims to ensure children […]

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Tips and Tools To Minimise The Effects Of Separation On Children

October 23, 2018

The end of a relationship is generally a very difficult time for people; sadness, confusion, anger and conflict may be dominating their life during this trying period. Regrettably, separating parents may unwillingly overlook the impact their behaviour and actions may have on their children. Parents, children, relationships and parenting styles are all unique and come […]

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When can my child decide who they want to live with?

October 17, 2018

A common question for separated parents is, ‘When can my child decide who they want to live with?’ It may seem like a straightforward question, however, the answer is genuinely depended on each individual case and the child. In Australia there is no minimum age for a child to be able to express their view […]

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Secrets To A Successful Divorce

October 10, 2018

A successful divorce is one that reduces the emotional, financial and logistical toll that naturally comes with divorce. The following recommendations, if implemented, can help make sure your divorce runs as smoothly and successfully as possible. Educate yourself Now is not the time to be a bystander on what is going on. “Read as much […]

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