8 Essential Pieces of Divorce Advice

8 Essential Pieces of Divorce Advice - Resolve Conflict Family LawyersDivorce can certainly be a very trying and stressful time, however there are things you can do to make sure the process is as peaceful as possible.

The following 8 pieces of advice aren’t only for dealing with the legal aspects, but also to ensure you survive the emotional roller-coaster ride of the process itself.

Be sure

“Nobody knows your situation better than you. I always encourage couples to go to therapy and work on their marriage. But, sometimes it doesn’t work. Maybe you tried, maybe you didn’t. You know if there is a chance the marriage can be saved. If it can’t, don’t waste any more time and start the process of moving on.”[1]

Educated yourself

“Divorce is the most counter-intuitive process on the planet. If you don’t know how the divorce system works, you are much more likely to make mistakes that you will later regret. Having a lawyer, a therapist, and a financial adviser on your divorce team is great. But no one will care more about your life than you will.”[2]

Gather Financial Information

Now is the time to get a good handle on all your financial information. If you didn’t control the finances within the marriage, getting your key financial records together is an important step. Here is a great starting list by ASIC’s Money Smart[3]:

  • Savings and transaction account statements
  • Utility bills (e.g electricity, gas, mobile and internet)
  • Credit and store card bills
  • Property paperwork (deeds, mortgage papers, home loan details)
  • Investment paperwork (managed fund statements, share dividend statements)
  • Tax records (tax returns and tax file numbers)
  • Insurance policies (e.g health, home and contents, car, income protection and life)
  • Superannuation accounts (both yours and your ex-partners)
  • Will and estate plans
  • Contact details for your accountant and lawyer

Kids first

Divorce can be especially difficult for children, without them feeling like they are in a tug-of-war over which parent they love more. Now more than ever children need support from both parents, rather than making them pick a side.

Related Article: Successfully Co-Parenting: Fact of Fiction?

Make a plan

It’s important to sit down and think about what you realistically want to achieve through your divorce. By putting in the time and effort to decide what you want and make a plan doesn’t guarantee you will get it, however at least you will have a better chance. As the saying goes ‘plan your work and work your plan’.

Don’t go it alone

Now is the time to seek out emotional and professional support. Divorce can be a tiresome activity, friends and family are an obvious choice for emotional support, however if you need an unbiased opinion, it may be a good idea to seek out a professional. At the beginning of the divorce process it is also wise to seek out legal advice to understand your options and how to proceed.

Focus on the big picture

“Nobody wins in divorce, but if you focus on what’s most important, like your kids and your future, instead of fighting over semantics or trying to be right, you’ll improve your chances of getting an agreement you feel comfortable with and having a peaceful divorce at the same time.”[4]

Get good legal advice

It’s important to seek out a lawyer that suits you and is able to guide you through the process. Your lawyer should be able to advise you on all thing you need to organise prior to each consultation the reduce the amount of time consulting and corresponding in order to lower your legal bills.


Note: This is general information advice only and does not constitute specific legal advice. If you would like further information in relation to this matter or other legal matters, please contact us on 03 9620 0088 or email info@resolveconflict.com.au


[1] Levoy J 2016, ‘7 Reasons You Can’t Afford NOT To Get Divorced’, Huffington Post, 20th June, viewed 1st August 2018, https://www.huffingtonpost.com/jason-levoy/7-reasons-you-cant-afford_b_10550772.html

[2] Covy K 2016, ’50 Best Pieces of Divorce Advice Your Lawyer May Not Have Told You (But Should Have!), 29 March, viewed 1st August 2018, https://karencovy.com/best-divorce-advice/

[3] ‘Divorce and Separation’, ASIC Money Smart Financial guidance you can trust, viewed 1st August 2018, https://www.moneysmart.gov.au/life-events-and-you/life-events/divorce-and-separation

[4] Dillion J, ‘How to Have an Amicable Divorce’, Equitable Mediation, viewed 1st August 2018, https://www.equitablemediation.com/blog/how-to-have-an-amicable-divorce

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