5 Ways To Help Your Grandchildren During Divorce

The bond between grandparent and grandchild is often a magical one, with grandparents offering a unique sense of fun and security.

During separation and divorce grandparents may feel isolated and powerless to help their grandchildren, however this is an important time for grandparents to help their grandchildren transition through their parents’ divorce.

Although written with grandparents in mind, this section may be useful for anyone in the wider family.

The following points look at how grandparents can help and support their grandchildren through a family divorce:

Maintain the status-quo

Children crave stability and routine, even though your grandchild’s life at home may be going through major changes, “your home and the time you spend with your grandchildren should remain as similar to pre-divorce visits as you can manage. Time with grandparents can be a relief for grandchildren who may be caught in the middle of two parents. Your home should be a neutral zone. Keep the focus on your growing relationship with your grandchildren, not their parents’ disintegrating one.”[1]

Be a good listener

Your grandchild may be surrounded by angry, upset adults and chaos, you may provide the only place where your grandchild feels properly heard. Like anyone, sometimes sharing ones concerns and worries can deliver a sense of comfort and relief.

Be an unbiased confidant

Following from the above point, being an unbiased, non-judgmental and loving authority may provide your grandchild a oasis to be heard without offending or hurting their parents. “When your grandchild opens up to you, frame your response positively and reassure him or her that the divorce is not his or her fault.” [2]

Read together

Depending on the age of your grandchildren, reading children’s books about feelings and how other children have coped with the upheaval of divorce may help them feel reassured as well as understand their emotions better.

Related article: 12 Books to help your children cope with separation and divorce

Stay in communication with both parents

This will be dependent on the divorce situation, as well as if the other parent wants to stay in contact, however maintaining contact with both parents will ultimately help you in your relationship with your grandchildren.

Note: This is general information advice only and does not constitute specific legal advice. If you would like further information in relation to this matter or other legal matters, please contact us on 03 9620 0088 or email info@resolveconflict.com.au

[1] Carson L, Ph.D., The Essential Grandparents’ Guide to Divorce: Making a Difference in the Family

[2] Temlock M, M.A, Your Child’s Divorce: What to Expect…What You Can Do