At Resolve Conflict Family Lawyers & Mediators, we aim to help families resolve their conflicts; not surprisingly, many family issues arise from a lack of communication within the family unit. The article below by prokeral.com looks at ways for families to better communicate with each other.

Effective communication within the family

Communication is not the mere verbal exchange of information in families. It is the expression of respect, affection and concern. Communication doesn’t refer to verbal communication alone in the family; physical expressions, gestures and even an affectionate look can be communicative in the family.

It is through communication that family members express their requirements, love, desires, advice, etc., to each other. Family communication is very different from that of formal communication. Experts say that there are four styles of family communication. Clear and direct communication, clear and indirect communication, masked and direct communication and masked and indirect communication.

Each of these styles has benefits and disadvantages; thus, it is the communicator who has to decide which style to use according to the situation. Whatever the styles of communication and modes of it, people agree on the point that communication is the essential instrument or bonding factor in family life.

There are many practical tips to make the communication between the family members more effective. Let us see some of them.

The focus is preference, not principles

Family is the place where no strict or inflexible rules are applicable, and principles always remain subordinate to preferences. Focusing on preferences simply means giving more importance to personal likes and methods than rules and regulations. For example, you can’t just implement a rule that everyone should be silent after 10 at night. It may be the only convenient time for one of the family members to communicate with others.

Be flexible in communication. It is not what others follow that is to be considered the standard in your communication in the family. There is no right time, right way and right place for communication in the family. Implicating principles for communication will make the process completely official, and people may feel it mechanical, rather than affectionate.

Be positive

Negative and sarcastic communication will destroy the warmth of family talk. Do not over-criticise or approach everything in a negative way. Certain people cling to sarcasm when they talk to others, especially with family members. This will destroy the mood of talks, and others may deliberately withdraw from family communications.

You can be corrective, but even then try to be as positive as possible. Positive communication is more influential and effective than criticism. Creative criticism is helpful in the family, but always define limits to criticism. Let the communication be appreciative, encouraging, supportive, and soothing.

Exaggeration is unacceptable

Many people tend to exaggerate too much when they express their emotions or feelings in the family. Exaggeration is used as a mode of easing mental tension, but it may destroy family harmony. When you talk or express your feelings, be lavish only to the limit of the tolerance of others. Frequent exaggerated talk may make others bored and distrustful of your words and actions.

Let it be more than just verbal

Let the communication in the family be more than just a verbal expression. Even the presence of other family members can communicate a lot. The presence of parents conveys the messages of safety, love and concern to the kids. Similarly, the presence of a spouse communicates the feeling of warmth. Use gestures of affection lavishly in the communication. Even when you scold or correct a child or spouse, holding them and talking to them in the most pleasing manner may help the messages to be accepted in the desired manner. A kiss, a hug, an appreciation, a thumbs-up gesture- everything can tell more than words can do.

Be clear, be gentle and be precise

Being clear, gentle and precise is the rule applicable to any communication; so is to family communication. Do not leave blanks for others to assume or interpret in family communication. If you want to say something to the children or spouse, make your point clear in the most pleasing way. Do not beat around the bush and keep others in the dark about the messages you intended to pass. Being calm and gentle when you communicate is helpful to invite the attention and action of others. Angry expressions or thoughtless words may be taken lightly and may not yield the expected reaction.

Be frequent in communication

Communication should not be like a timetabled ritual at home. Find opportunities to talk to other members at home every day and every time. Frequent and casual communication not only helps you to express your feelings exactly, but also encourages others to talk. Mutual communication helps people to grow in an affectionate relationship with each other.

For more articles, please visit the Resolve Conflict Blog here. If you have any queries on Family Law or Mediation, please don’t hesitate to contact us on 03 9620 0088 or email info@resolveconflict.com.au