Telling Your Spouse You Want A Divorce

Telling Your Spouse You Want A Divorce - Resolve Conflict Family LawyersBroaching the subject of divorce with your spouse is without doubt a delicate conversation. Most of us don’t want to devastate our partners, nor do we want to trigger an all-out war.

The following tips look at things to consider prior to discussing divorce with your partner. Note, there is no “one size fits all” approach, however contemplating the following may help make an uncomfortable conversation go as smoothly as possible.

Be aware and prepared

Announcing your wish for a divorce may or may not come as a surprise to your spouse. Being aware ahead of time of where “…your spouse is emotionally can make a big difference in how you approach the topic of divorce.”

Timing, choice of words and method of introducing the subject of divorce will be different depending on how aware you and your spouse are to the state of your marriage and if your spouse is going to be blind sighted or not.

Location and timing

Bringing up divorce is intimidating, however don’t let your emotions decide half way through a fight that it is a good time to bring up this delicate topic, nor in a public place. Choose a time and place that will encourage a civil conversation.

Related Article: Top 6 Things NOT To Do When Getting Divorced

Do your research

Divorce often comes with big changes and an overwhelming legal process neither of you have gone through before. Having some idea of the legal process, what to expect and how to proceed peacefully is often a valuable way to start an amicable divorce.

Be honest and direct

As the saying goes ‘honesty is the best policy’. “Amicably resolving your issues is the best way to get through a divorce, and surprising your spouse comes across as deceitful. Whilst you may be worried about being ‘cleaned-out’ if you give any warning, most of the time that will not be the case.” However, if you do have any concerns regarding this you should seek legal advice.

Give your spouse time

If the news of divorce has come as a shock your spouse will need time to process the information. The subject of divorce and how it will unfold is often unable to happen is one conversation, so be prepared to have subsequent conversations.


Note: This is general information advice only and does not constitute specific legal advice. If you would like further information in relation to this matter or other legal matters, please contact us on 03 9620 0088 or email

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