“We Need To Talk”…How to successfully discuss divorce with your spouse

Difficult conversations are undoubtedly challenging, none so much as bringing up divorce with your spouse.

This conversation (and subsequent conversations) are likely to be highly emotive and stressful for both parties.

“The legal, financial, property and custody issues that arise in divorce are often enough to make some put off raising the topic of divorce for far too long — if not indefinitely.”[1]

The following points look at ways to navigate the challenging task of bringing up divorce with your spouse:

1. BE SURE

As with marriage, divorce should not be entered into lightly and is not a throw away decision or comment. If there is no other future with your spouse than divorce then it is time for the next steps.

2. KEEP IT PRIVATE

Now is not the time to be airing out your dirty laundry. By preserving information regarding your marriage, you will likely avoid your partner feeling hurt or humiliated, which could create the perfect storm of a quarrelsome divorce. Obviously, deciding to divorce is in itself a process and confiding in a trusted friend or family member may be beneficial. However, be “…clear that your discussion needs to stay private, out of respect for you and the autonomy of your relationship.”[2]

Related Article: 5 Ways To Reduce Stress During A Divorce

3. KNOW WHERE YOU STAND

It’s important not to blind sight your spouse, as this may hinder any chance of having an amicable divorce, however speaking to your lawyer, accountant and financial advisor may be a sensible move so you can be prepared for what lies ahead.

4. TIMING AND LOCATION

Bringing up divorce is intimidating, however don’t let your emotions decide half way through a fight that it is a good time to bring up this delicate topic, nor in a public place. Choose a time and place that will encourage a civil conversation.

5. CHOOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY

Words are powerful and once said they can’t be unsaid. Having a rough idea of what and how you are going to broach this conversation will stand you in good stead.

For more articles please visit the Resolve Conflict Blog here. If you have any queries on Family Law or Mediation please don’t hesitate to contact us on 03 9620 0088 or email info@resolveconflict.com.au

[1] Men’s Divorce – Mat Camp

[2] Grant & Lora