Meaningful ways to help a loved one through a divorce

Perhaps almost as bad as going through a divorce yourself is watching someone dear to you go through one. There are countless ways to support a loved one going through pre, active and post-divorce stages.

Below are 5 meaningful ways to help a friend through a divorce:

1. Don’t give unsolicited advice

As every relationship is different so is every divorce. Even if you have gone through divorce, your experiences may vary enormously to your friends. “Don’t intellectualise their emotions or offer any ‘sage’ advice – telling them to look on the bright side of life or telling them that ‘everything happens for a reason’ just invalidates the pit of despair they are looking into. Allow THEM to come to this conclusion on their own – this way, they will own the conclusion on a deeper level”[1]

2. Still be inclusive to social events

The divorce process can be extremely lonely for some people and only exacerbated when they are no longer invited to “couples nights” or events that they would have been invited to prior to their divorce.

3. Don’t badmouth the ex

Tempting though it may be, try and refrain from badmouthing your friends ex. Likely, they will be doing most of the badmouthing and this is an apt time to just listen.

4. Offer to help out

The divorce process can take up a lot of your friends physical and emotional time. The small offers to help out be it to babysit children or clean the house can give your friend much needed “me time”.

5. Focus on physical health and wellness

“Endorphins are great things, particularly when a person is going through a crisis. Try to help your friend exercise, eat right and get enough sleep. When their body is running on all four cylinders, so to speak, they can cope better with the issues around them.”[2]

Note: This is general information advice only and does not constitute specific legal advice. If you would like further information in relation to this matter or other legal matters, please contact us on 03 9620 0088 or email info@resolveconflict.com.au

[1] Théron A, ‘How to support someone going through a divorce or break-up’, Naked Divorce, viewed 29 August 2018, https://www.nakeddivorce.com/blog/how-to-support-someone-going-through-a-divorce-or-break-up/

[2] Parker W 2017, ‘Helping Your Friend Through a Divroce’, Live About, 17 April, viewed 29 August 2018, https://www.liveabout.com/helping-your-friend-through-a-divorce-1269629