The Do’s and Don’ts of Successful Co-Parenting

by resconflict on April 4, 2018

The Do’s and Don’ts of Successful Co-ParentingNo matter how well you and your ex-partner get on, co-parenting can be a treacherous balancing act, requiring each parent to present “empathy, patience and open communication for success.”[1] Which most co-parents will tell you is easier said than done.

The following points explore some of the best and worst ways co-parents can navigate the problematic and unchartered waters of co-parenting.

Do’s:

Set Clear Boundaries

“It’s much easier to work together as co-parents when you establish boundaries and recognize what you have control over – and what you don’t – regarding your children and your ex. For example, you cannot control who your ex dates, or even whether he or she introduces that person to your children (unless it’s written into your custody agreement or parenting plan). You can, however, control the example you’re setting for your kids when it comes to dealing with disappointments and setbacks.”[2]

Strive For Positive Communication

Work out the best way for you and your ex-partner to communicate with each other in regards to the children. This could be through email, text, phone call or face-to-face conversation. Once agreed upon don’t deviate from the agreed method.

Agree On Consistent Rules For Each Household

It’s no secret that children need routine and structure to feel safe and secure, as well as flourish in their growth. It’s paramount that each parent’s household more or less holds the same rules in regards to bedtime, watching TV, homework, household chores and the like. “Running a tight ship creates a sense of security and predictability for children. So no matter where your child is, he or she knows that certain rules will be enforced.”[3]

 

Related Article: 12 Books to help your children cope with separation and divorce

Don’ts:

Use Communication As a Weapon

“Don’t use the written word as a weapon! The purpose of emails and texts is to deliver facts and logistics, not to lash out at your co-parent, or try to convince him of the error of his ways. Keeping your messages simple and devoid of emotion will help maintain an amicable co-parenting relationship.”[4]

Be Manipulative

Don’t attempt to sway your child’s alliances away from your ex-partner is not in the interest of your child. The best outcome for any child is to have a healthy relationship with both parents, a child’s affection for one parent is not a reflection of less affection to the other.

Talk Negatively

“Make it a rule to frown upon your children talking disrespectfully about your Ex even though it may be music to your ears.”[5]

For more articles please visit the Resolve Conflict Blog here. If you have any queries on Family Law or Mediation please don’t hesitate to contact us on 03 9620 0088 or email info@resolveconflict.com.au

 

 

 

[1] Serani, D 2012, ‘The Do’s and Don’ts of Co-Parenting Well’, Psychology Today, 28 March, viewed 4 April 2018, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/two-takes-depression/201203/the-dos-and-donts-co-parenting-well

[2] Wolf, J 2017, ’10 Signs of a Healthy Coparenting Relationship’, The Spruce, 8 November, viewed 4 April 2018, https://www.thespruce.com/signs-of-a-healthy-coparenting-relationship-2997282

[3] Serani, D 2012, ‘The Do’s and Don’ts of Co-Parenting Well’, Psychology Today, 28 March, viewed 4 April 2018, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/two-takes-depression/201203/the-dos-and-donts-co-parenting-well

[4] ’18 Tips For Having A Better Co-Parenting Relationship In 2018′, viewed 4 April 2018, https://www.weinbergerlawgroup.com/blog/divorce-family-law/18-tips-better-co-parenting-relationship-2018/

[5] Serani, D 2012, ‘The Do’s and Don’ts of Co-Parenting Well’, Psychology Today, 28 March, viewed 4 April 2018, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/two-takes-depression/201203/the-dos-and-donts-co-parenting-well

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